I have to confess, I'm starting to enjoy one-on-one meetings with students. It is a completely different dynamic and you as the teacher are firmly in the driver's seat. I'm starting to practice strategies with troublesome students. I'll see them in the halls in the morning and say brightly, "You and I need to chat at some point today." This leaves them writhing, wondering, for the hours in between. I pick the time. I pick the topic.
I'm like a predator, separating them from the pack so I can take them down.
Case 1: Student is pushing the boundaries of respect in class. He seems to think I'm his peer rather than his friend. He repeatedly asks me if I have a Twitter account. I respond that I have one that I use for teaching purposes and only started a few months ago. He asks me what my username is, he asks me to follow him on Twitter, etc.
I check Twitter one evening, to see that for the first time in my life I've been tweeted at. And the tweet is from a grade 12 boy, saying "I found you" and "Ms. will you go to prom with me?"
The next day I ask him to stay after class. We sit facing each other. I stuff down my discomfort, put on my professional voice, and lay it out calmly and firmly.
"I checked my Twitter account last night. Your comments were inappropriate and I felt very uncomfortable."
He starts to redden. "Geez, Ms., it was just a joke!"
"I know it was a joke. But it's still inappropriate and it's in writing. If you ever write anything like that again we'll have to have a meeting with school administration."
He can't wait to escape.
Wait, you're the one who's uncomfortable here?
The next day he came to class looking a little awkward. I greeted him with a smile and treated him as I normally would. He's been quiet every since and we haven't had any problems.
Case 2: Student is growing more and more defiant in class. He's using his cell phone in full view and when I approach him about it he looks up and says indignantly, "I'm texting my mom!" On a day that an assignment is due he skips class and goes to the library instead, unbeknownst to me. He walks into class ten minutes before the bell and hands me the assignment.
"Where have you been?"
"In the library."
"Excuse me?"
"I came to class and then left to go to the library to finish it. I'm leaving now."
Casually, not angry, as if it's the most natural thing in the world for him to be the exception to the rules. I don't know how I should have reacted in the moment, but I knew I had to put a stop to it. The next day I asked him to come see me at some point (to induce the writhing). When he came to see me I told him that I was unhappy with the way he was behaving in my class. I gave specific examples from my perspective.
"Oh, I didn't mean it that way," he said.
"Well, that's the way it came across to me. And more importantly, to the rest of the class. You're taking the legs out from under me. I really enjoyed having you in class last semester, and I really didn't expect you to try to take advantage of the fact that I'm a student teacher.
This behaviour counts as defiance. I'm taking note of it, and if it continues we'll have to set up a meeting with admin and your parents. But I don't think it needs to get to that point ... I think you can nip this in the bud."
And the grandstander is quiet, apologizing, embarrassed. And an angel in class from that point on.
Case 3: Today I arrived at the class that my cooperating teacher and I usually teach together. In this unit she is doing most of the instruction in front of the class while I help facilitate group work. When I walked in the door she came up to me and said, "I need to cover the class next door. They went on a field trip and the few who didn't go are there. The teacher forgot to ask someone to cover! They're just going to be watching a movie -- do you think you could do it?"
Of course I agreed. I went into the class to find the remnant of the class waiting for me: seven grade 12 students.
As I went around taking their names, one girl gave me attitude right away. She was very abrasive and at one point left the class to answer her phone. As she stood outside, all of us could hear her calling somebody a "f***ing idiot."
Even though a part of me thought, "Who cares? I'll never see this girl again" another part of me had to say something. A few minutes before the bell rang I approached her, sensing she'd be the type to leave right away.
"Can you stay behind after class? I'd like to talk with you."
"Why?" she practically spit the word out.
"You'll find out after class."
She glared at me. "No, I'm not staying. I've got to go. I'm leaving."
"Are you really going to be defiant about this? Because we can bring in admin. It'll take two minutes."
She went quiet. "Fine."
After class I stayed seated at the teacher's desk and had her take a seat across from me.
"Let me tell you about my day," I began. "I'm a student teacher. I'm working with Ms. J, and she was asked to cover this class. I'm in here doing a favor for another teacher. The moment you opened your mouth, you were very abrasive and aggressive. It took me aback. I don't even know you, so what's your problem?"
The one-on-one dynamic. She was starting to wilt. "I'm having a really bad day."
"I can see that."
"Is my makeup all messed up?"
"No, but it's pretty obvious. I get that you have bad days. You don't have to be smiley and pleasant. But you do not have the right to be rude. Let me give you a piece of advice: you're not going to get very far in life if you take your bad day out on other people. You don't know me, do you? You have no reason to be mad at me, do you? And you just made my day a bad day."
I didn't get an apology out of this one, but she shut up.
"Do you get where I'm coming from?"
"Yeah, yeah I do."
I'm proud of myself for acting confident even when I don't feel like it. I'm practicing being a professional. The more I fake not being scared and unsure, the more I really am brave and confident. Just by the fact that I'm a new teacher, I know I probably miss some things. But I've learned that I have a temper; when it comes to teaching, my temper doesn't flare up but instead it gives me a bit of iron.
On the note of becoming more professional, I was also proud of myself for being able to explain what female circumcision is to my grade 12 English class without even blushing.
My next hurdle: learning how to be confident and professional dealing with parents.
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