cornerstone vs. capstone

I was glad when a friend sent me a link to this online article: The Case for Getting Married Young. It discusses the trend of young adults viewing marriage as a "capstone" to their adult lives, and raises the question of whether marriage should be viewed as a "cornerstone" instead.

While no one should ever rush into marriage, and while at any age the most important thing is who you marry, it is nice to read something that supports my choice to get married at twenty.

Two and half years after the wedding, people still look at me like I have two heads when I tell them I'm married. Heads whip around. The questions start firing, and suddenly I need to justify why I'm married. Isaac and I used to be a little embarrassed. We both confessed to avoiding the words "my husband" or "my wife" to dodge the predictable reaction. Now, I've become less self-conscious. When they look at me with shock (and is it sometimes disgust?) I just smile and say, "Yup, I'm married. And I'm not even a newlywed. This summer it will be three years."

Instead of second-guessing our decision, I've become even more convinced we did the right thing. We love being married. I have had more adventures than I would have had if I were single. Would I have been able to   move to Halifax by myself for a year? Would I have driven to the Grand Canyon? Would I be planning to go to Uganda this August? Would I have picked up and worked in Alberta for a summer?

In my experiences of brief travel (a few months) as a single girl, I realized that I was cut out to have a partner. Going places without being to share it with someone else felt a little hollow. I think God knew what I needed, and brought Isaac and I together at a young age.

When we were engaged we even got flack from people in the church. People asked us how we would support ourselves. People encouraged us to not "miss out" on the fun we could only have being single.

For the record, I think marriage has benefited both of us financially. When one of us is busier with work, the other picks up the slack for cooking and cleaning at the apartment. We share a car. We gain from each others' areas of strength. And being independent at a young age has stretched our characters by leaps and bounds. We enjoy being frugal -- garage sales and wild berry picking have become sources of quality time together.

As for having fun, Isaac is my best friend. I get to live with him and share everything with him. If I got married at an older age, set in my ways, maybe I wouldn't have been able to grow as much as I have. I have gone on an overnight canoe trip -- even a winter camping trip! (never again) --  something I would have never done without him. I have loved every adventure we have shared together and know that there are plenty more down the road!

As a family friend told me when we were engaged, getting married young means you build history.

"My husband understands me and the way I react to things, because he knows my past experiences. He was there when they happened!"

I'm not trying to knock anyone who is single, because God can use you in amazing ways when you are. All I'm saying is please don't criticize those who marry young, who chose to build their adult lives on the cornerstone of marriage.