I was glad when a friend sent me a link to this online article: The Case for Getting Married Young. It discusses the trend of young adults viewing marriage as a "capstone" to their adult lives, and raises the question of whether marriage should be viewed as a "cornerstone" instead.
While no one should ever rush into marriage, and while at any age the most important thing is who you marry, it is nice to read something that supports my choice to get married at twenty.
Two and half years after the wedding, people still look at me like I have two heads when I tell them I'm married. Heads whip around. The questions start firing, and suddenly I need to justify why I'm married. Isaac and I used to be a little embarrassed. We both confessed to avoiding the words "my husband" or "my wife" to dodge the predictable reaction. Now, I've become less self-conscious. When they look at me with shock (and is it sometimes disgust?) I just smile and say, "Yup, I'm married. And I'm not even a newlywed. This summer it will be three years."
Instead of second-guessing our decision, I've become even more convinced we did the right thing. We love being married. I have had more adventures than I would have had if I were single. Would I have been able to move to Halifax by myself for a year? Would I have driven to the Grand Canyon? Would I be planning to go to Uganda this August? Would I have picked up and worked in Alberta for a summer?
In my experiences of brief travel (a few months) as a single girl, I realized that I was cut out to have a partner. Going places without being to share it with someone else felt a little hollow. I think God knew what I needed, and brought Isaac and I together at a young age.
When we were engaged we even got flack from people in the church. People asked us how we would support ourselves. People encouraged us to not "miss out" on the fun we could only have being single.
For the record, I think marriage has benefited both of us financially. When one of us is busier with work, the other picks up the slack for cooking and cleaning at the apartment. We share a car. We gain from each others' areas of strength. And being independent at a young age has stretched our characters by leaps and bounds. We enjoy being frugal -- garage sales and wild berry picking have become sources of quality time together.
As for having fun, Isaac is my best friend. I get to live with him and share everything with him. If I got married at an older age, set in my ways, maybe I wouldn't have been able to grow as much as I have. I have gone on an overnight canoe trip -- even a winter camping trip! (never again) -- something I would have never done without him. I have loved every adventure we have shared together and know that there are plenty more down the road!
As a family friend told me when we were engaged, getting married young means you build history.
"My husband understands me and the way I react to things, because he knows my past experiences. He was there when they happened!"
I'm not trying to knock anyone who is single, because God can use you in amazing ways when you are. All I'm saying is please don't criticize those who marry young, who chose to build their adult lives on the cornerstone of marriage.
A blog about little things and big things. What I'm reading, what I'm teaching, where I'm going, and what I'm thinking.
Friday, 29 March 2013
Thursday, 28 March 2013
news
Big news: We are off to Uganda!
Why Uganda? Good question.
This April I will be graduating with my Bachelor of Education (finally -- I'm a teacher!) while Isaac has one more year left to complete his undergraduate degree at Saint Mary's University. As a student of International Development, one of the reasons Isaac chose Saint Mary's was its study abroad programs and connections to universities around the world. One of those universities is Uganda Martyrs University in Nkozi, Uganda. The school focuses on development issues, offering a Ethics and Development program. Because of its relationship with Saint Mary's, the credits Isaac will earn there will count as Saint Mary's credits. Saint Mary's has successfully sent many other students to UMU (there are two students there right now), so it is a well-trodden path. Isaac has been planning to do a year abroad from the beginning of his studies; because he has planned his courses around this goal he will still be able to graduate in the spring of 2014. Obviously, the experience of living in Uganda and learning about development from African professors will be a huge benefit to him in his area of study.
For those reasons Uganda was the best choice for Isaac's year abroad.
But...we also wanted to find a place where I could get a job as a teacher. This past winter I have been in contact with schools in different parts of the world where SMU has sister universities. We figured that wherever I could get a job, Isaac would apply to that study abroad program. One of the schools that caught my attention was Heritage International School (HIS) in Kampala, Uganda. It is a small Christian school that was originally started as a school for missionary children. Since then it has expanded; staff and students come from all over the world. (Check out the website: http://www.heritageinternationalschool.org) After going through the application and interview process I was offered and have accepted the position of Middle School Language Arts teacher.
While these plans have been coming together for months now, the study abroad process through St. Mary's is a little slow. Today Isaac got an email saying that he has passed the most important hurdle: being accepted into the program by Saint Mary's University. So we figured it's pretty safe to share the news with everyone!
We will be leaving for Uganda at the beginning of August and the school year at HIS ends in early June.
While UMU has sites in Kampala, HIS and the UMU main campus (I apologize for the many acronyms!) are a little over an hour apart. We will have accommodations provided by HIS, but Isaac will also have a dorm room at UMU. While my experience in Africa is limited, we know enough not to rely on being able to do an hour commute every day! Depending on his class schedule it may be better for him to stay at the campus a few days a week. Many students and faculty commute to UMU from Kampala, so there is a shuttle that Isaac may be able to use to go back and forth.
Anyway ... that's what's going on with us! We have prayed about this every step of the way and so far we feel peace about it and confidence that God has opened these doors for us. While things may change from now until August, right now it seems that God is bringing us to Uganda. We're a little nervous but we are also pretty excited! We know that we will miss everyone a lot so we are trying to savour these last weeks in Halifax and will be moving back to Ontario for the months of June and July.
Please keep us in your prayers as we prepare and when we are over there! While this blog has been a little personal space for me, it will probably morph into a way to update family and friends.
Wednesday, 20 March 2013
Sunday, 17 March 2013
the best part of teaching english
As much as I enjoy making fun of my students' grammar and spelling mistakes (I got a draft of a writing assignment this past week -- the student had carefully adjusted spelling and grammar because, as their title explained, it is their "ruff draft"), I really think teaching English is something special. I love teaching the content of other subjects, but English teachers get a special window into their students: they get to read what they write. I know that other teachers are certainly capable of building relationships, but English teachers seem to have a pretty direct route if they decide to take advantage of it.
I have loved reading students' quick-writes, memoirs, poems and responses to things we've read or watched in class.
As I made my way through the pile of marking, I found a note tucked inside one of the writing assignments handed in to me. On a little post-it, the note read: "This [the topic of her piece] is a very touchy topic in my household and we don't talk about it much. If possible please don't mention to my parents that I wrote it. Thanks."
Just one example of the many things I've learned about my students in their writing. Being let into someone's private life is a real honour. Helping them learn how to get their message across -- whatever it is -- more effectively is a powerful tool. I hope I always take that seriously.
healthy make-ahead meals
A few weeks ago I spotted a recipe book in the library: "Make-Ahead Meals Made Healthy." And that's when my plan to cook up a storm over March Break was born. Stumbling across the make-ahead breakfast smoothies (and making 14 of them!) was grafted into this plan.
I can't believe that March Break is already over. It flew by, and I didn't get everything done that I thought I would. However, I did reach all my cooking goals (minus one dish!). Perhaps this is because cooking became a form of procrastination -- a way to avoid preparing two unit tests, writing lesson plans, making unit plans and marking the pile of assignments in my bag? Perhaps.
I love cooking ahead and freezing or preserving things. My kind of cooking involves turning my kitchen into an absolute mess, getting in comfortable clothes, working like I'm in a factory, doing several rounds of dishes and ... not having to cook again for awhile. Maybe it's my years of working in a camp kitchen, who knows? Go big or go home -- I hate the idea of pulling everything out and cooking two.servings.every.single.day.
Anyway ... I would definitely recommend this book of recipes. Everything I've made is very tasty; a nice way to switch up the same old, same old dishes I make to put in the freezer ahead of time (chili, shepherd's pie, etc.) And every single dish is definitely a step up from the frozen pizzas, pasta or cold cereal we normally reach for when we're hungry and don't have much time.
The recipes I've tried from this book:
1. Creamy Turkey Casserole with Broccoli and Cauliflower
Yummy! Surprisingly, the chopped dried prunes that this recipe calls for taste really good in it. (Never had dried prunes before.) While this recipe includes turkey, broccoli and cauliflower I wonder how "healthy" it is considering the cream of chicken soup cans, mayonnaise and Havarti cheese. Oh well -- it's delicious. Because it is pretty creamy, I think I can stretch it even further by serving it with rice or pasta.
2. Family-Friendly Chicken and Wild Rice Bake
A good one-dish dinner. This is the dish that I have bought the ingredients for but, here I am, the end of March Break and it hasn't been made yet. I'll get to it, I'll get to it.
3. Ginger and Veggie Fried Rice.
With the beaten eggs, spinach, sesame seeds and edamame (I used snow peas), this is easily hearty enough to be lunches for me. (I froze it flat in small freezer bags.)
4. Salmon Cream Cheese Breakfast Burritos
I didn't realize that this is more like a spread, so I was a little surprised when I prepared it and the texture was not what I expected! This is a really good recipe, though, and despite the cream cheese it's pretty healthy -- it takes 8 cups of baby spinach and a whole bunch of green onions. Spread this on a whole wheat wrap and you have a nice light lunch to go. Since this goes so far, I froze some of the extra in containers to use as cracker dip.
5. Black Bean Breakfast BurritosEggs, red pepper, (I threw in some green pepper too), cilantro, onions, black beans and pepper jack cheese (I used Monterey Jack -- is that the same?) ... delicious and easy breakfast or lunch. Burritos get wrapped in tin foil, put in a freezer bag, and can be quickly re-heated individually in a microwave or toaster oven.
Some other recipes in this book that caught my eye: mushroom-stuffed pork chops with roasted root vegetables, beef and papaya burritos (wha????), caramelized onion soup, smoked ham and bean soup, whole-grain parmesan herb twists and dark chocolate and almond scones.
I like how the recipes in this book make large quantities (because they're meant to be prepared and frozen ahead of time) and gave freezing and reheating instructions for each recipe.
With the smoothies, packing all of this into my small fridge freezer was quite the exercise! I can't imagine what I'd be like if I had a chest freezer ... scary. At least I'd be prepared for the Apocalypse.
I can't believe that March Break is already over. It flew by, and I didn't get everything done that I thought I would. However, I did reach all my cooking goals (minus one dish!). Perhaps this is because cooking became a form of procrastination -- a way to avoid preparing two unit tests, writing lesson plans, making unit plans and marking the pile of assignments in my bag? Perhaps.
I love cooking ahead and freezing or preserving things. My kind of cooking involves turning my kitchen into an absolute mess, getting in comfortable clothes, working like I'm in a factory, doing several rounds of dishes and ... not having to cook again for awhile. Maybe it's my years of working in a camp kitchen, who knows? Go big or go home -- I hate the idea of pulling everything out and cooking two.servings.every.single.day.
Anyway ... I would definitely recommend this book of recipes. Everything I've made is very tasty; a nice way to switch up the same old, same old dishes I make to put in the freezer ahead of time (chili, shepherd's pie, etc.) And every single dish is definitely a step up from the frozen pizzas, pasta or cold cereal we normally reach for when we're hungry and don't have much time.
my kind of cooking: turkey casserole in my mega steel mixing bowl... |
1. Creamy Turkey Casserole with Broccoli and Cauliflower
Yummy! Surprisingly, the chopped dried prunes that this recipe calls for taste really good in it. (Never had dried prunes before.) While this recipe includes turkey, broccoli and cauliflower I wonder how "healthy" it is considering the cream of chicken soup cans, mayonnaise and Havarti cheese. Oh well -- it's delicious. Because it is pretty creamy, I think I can stretch it even further by serving it with rice or pasta.
2. Family-Friendly Chicken and Wild Rice Bake
Ginger Veggie Fried Rice |
3. Ginger and Veggie Fried Rice.
With the beaten eggs, spinach, sesame seeds and edamame (I used snow peas), this is easily hearty enough to be lunches for me. (I froze it flat in small freezer bags.)
4. Salmon Cream Cheese Breakfast Burritos
I didn't realize that this is more like a spread, so I was a little surprised when I prepared it and the texture was not what I expected! This is a really good recipe, though, and despite the cream cheese it's pretty healthy -- it takes 8 cups of baby spinach and a whole bunch of green onions. Spread this on a whole wheat wrap and you have a nice light lunch to go. Since this goes so far, I froze some of the extra in containers to use as cracker dip.
Salmon Cream Cheese spread |
5. Black Bean Breakfast BurritosEggs, red pepper, (I threw in some green pepper too), cilantro, onions, black beans and pepper jack cheese (I used Monterey Jack -- is that the same?) ... delicious and easy breakfast or lunch. Burritos get wrapped in tin foil, put in a freezer bag, and can be quickly re-heated individually in a microwave or toaster oven.
Some other recipes in this book that caught my eye: mushroom-stuffed pork chops with roasted root vegetables, beef and papaya burritos (wha????), caramelized onion soup, smoked ham and bean soup, whole-grain parmesan herb twists and dark chocolate and almond scones.
I like how the recipes in this book make large quantities (because they're meant to be prepared and frozen ahead of time) and gave freezing and reheating instructions for each recipe.
With the smoothies, packing all of this into my small fridge freezer was quite the exercise! I can't imagine what I'd be like if I had a chest freezer ... scary. At least I'd be prepared for the Apocalypse.
turkey casserole ready to be packed into the freezer |
Thursday, 14 March 2013
make-ahead smoothies
One of my goals over March Break was to make some healthy, freeze-able food. When I'm teaching and Isaac is working and going to school, our diet quickly slides into a routine of perogies, frozen pizzas and pasta (and grill 'ems ... mmm ...)
Since I am chronically running late every morning (not being late -- running late -- there's a difference) I was inspired to make some make-ahead breakfast smoothies. My main source of inspiration (besides what I had in the freezer): http://www.theyummylife.com/Oatmeal_Smoothies
Each of the six flavours of smoothies on this site include oats and chia seeds. Oats help make the smoothies a filling meal; chia seeds are, from what I understand, really good for you and they are thickeners. So if you usually rely on ice to thicken your smoothies (like I do) and hate it when they get warm and runny, this will solve that problem.
The author suggests to grind up a large batch of the oat/chia seed mix. Put both ingredients in the blender according to the ratios given and grind them up until you have a flour-like consistency. Then for every smoothie you want to make (a "batch" only makes one pint jar) add 1/4 cup of the oat/chia mix. (This is the same ratio she uses for her Fro-Yo pops -- haven't tried those yet.) I now have a jar of leftover oat/chia mix for the next time I make smoothies.
For each smoothie recipe I used honey as the sweetener. Because I lovelovelove honey.
For each smoothie I used Greek yogurt because a) it's thicker b) it has more protein and I plan on these smoothies being breakfast and c) there were some 50% off containers at the grocery store.
Based on my tastes and what I had in my fridge, I chose these four flavours to try:
1. Apricot Orange Oatmeal Smoothie (3 jars -- batch doubled, stuff added)
This was my least favourite. I didn't like the tiny bits of dried apricot (to be fair, she did warn me) and the flavour was off to me. I ended up adding lots of honey and some regular yogurt because the taste was so tart. I also spilled a bit more almond extract than it called for, so that needed to be watered down with regular yogurt, too :) To be honest I would not make this recipe again.
2. Apple Peanut Butter Cinnamon Oatmeal Smoothie (2.5 jars -- batch doubled)
This. was. amazing. I doubled the batch and it gave me 2.5 jars ... excellent, because I couldn't wait to eat some. I couldn't stop "tasting" it. I was a little surprised because I'm not normally a big peanut butter fan, but this is delicious! It's also the easiest to throw together because the fruit in it is simply unsweetened apple sauce. I'm definitely going to make this one again and again -- it was my favourite.
3. Strawberry Banana Oatmeal Smoothie (3 jars -- doubled the batch)
Shocker -- this one was good, too. Pretty classic. Unfortunately my stomach doesn't like raw banana so these are for Isaac. I used two frozen bananas I had in the freezer. Last summer I also crushed some extra strawberries into a sauce and poured it into an ice cube tray, then put the cubes in a freezer bag -- I used the strawberry ice cubes and a little less liquid.
4. Pomegranate Blueberry Oatmeal Smoothie (6 jars -- multiplied the batch by five!)
I had a freezer bag of wild blackberries, so I used them up for this smoothie in place of blueberries (I don't really like blueberries, anyway). The blackberries are tart so I had to add a good amount of honey. This smoothie is good -- what you'd expect from a homemade smoothie. Good, good for you, a little bland ... The blackberries also have a zillion seeds which are a little annoying. But -- good smoothie.
Total number of jars: 14.5!
After having the jars sit in the fridge overnight, they will be stacked neatly into our freezer for breakfast next week :)
Since I am chronically running late every morning (not being late -- running late -- there's a difference) I was inspired to make some make-ahead breakfast smoothies. My main source of inspiration (besides what I had in the freezer): http://www.theyummylife.com/Oatmeal_Smoothies
Each of the six flavours of smoothies on this site include oats and chia seeds. Oats help make the smoothies a filling meal; chia seeds are, from what I understand, really good for you and they are thickeners. So if you usually rely on ice to thicken your smoothies (like I do) and hate it when they get warm and runny, this will solve that problem.
The author suggests to grind up a large batch of the oat/chia seed mix. Put both ingredients in the blender according to the ratios given and grind them up until you have a flour-like consistency. Then for every smoothie you want to make (a "batch" only makes one pint jar) add 1/4 cup of the oat/chia mix. (This is the same ratio she uses for her Fro-Yo pops -- haven't tried those yet.) I now have a jar of leftover oat/chia mix for the next time I make smoothies.
For each smoothie recipe I used honey as the sweetener. Because I lovelovelove honey.
For each smoothie I used Greek yogurt because a) it's thicker b) it has more protein and I plan on these smoothies being breakfast and c) there were some 50% off containers at the grocery store.
Based on my tastes and what I had in my fridge, I chose these four flavours to try:
1. Apricot Orange Oatmeal Smoothie (3 jars -- batch doubled, stuff added)
This was my least favourite. I didn't like the tiny bits of dried apricot (to be fair, she did warn me) and the flavour was off to me. I ended up adding lots of honey and some regular yogurt because the taste was so tart. I also spilled a bit more almond extract than it called for, so that needed to be watered down with regular yogurt, too :) To be honest I would not make this recipe again.
2. Apple Peanut Butter Cinnamon Oatmeal Smoothie (2.5 jars -- batch doubled)
This. was. amazing. I doubled the batch and it gave me 2.5 jars ... excellent, because I couldn't wait to eat some. I couldn't stop "tasting" it. I was a little surprised because I'm not normally a big peanut butter fan, but this is delicious! It's also the easiest to throw together because the fruit in it is simply unsweetened apple sauce. I'm definitely going to make this one again and again -- it was my favourite.
3. Strawberry Banana Oatmeal Smoothie (3 jars -- doubled the batch)
Shocker -- this one was good, too. Pretty classic. Unfortunately my stomach doesn't like raw banana so these are for Isaac. I used two frozen bananas I had in the freezer. Last summer I also crushed some extra strawberries into a sauce and poured it into an ice cube tray, then put the cubes in a freezer bag -- I used the strawberry ice cubes and a little less liquid.
4. Pomegranate Blueberry Oatmeal Smoothie (6 jars -- multiplied the batch by five!)
I had a freezer bag of wild blackberries, so I used them up for this smoothie in place of blueberries (I don't really like blueberries, anyway). The blackberries are tart so I had to add a good amount of honey. This smoothie is good -- what you'd expect from a homemade smoothie. Good, good for you, a little bland ... The blackberries also have a zillion seeds which are a little annoying. But -- good smoothie.
Total number of jars: 14.5!
After having the jars sit in the fridge overnight, they will be stacked neatly into our freezer for breakfast next week :)
Top left: apricot orange, Top right and bottom right: strawberry banana Bottom left: blackberry pomegranate, Bottom centre: apple peanut butter cinnamon |
rant about dr. drew on teen mom
Okay, so I realize I'm a little behind, but the reality TV show "Teen Mom" is on Netflix and last week I started watching it.
... I'm already through the first season.
Spare me your lectures about how it's a bad show! I enjoy turning my brain off when I get home from student teaching, especially over March Break, and Teen Mom does that for me. Quite well, actually.
The first season ends with a "check-in" interview with Dr. Drew. I've never seen this Dr. Drew before, but apparently he's on a million other reality TV shows. I don't know this Dr. Drew, but I already can't stand him.
Teen Mom Season 1 Episode 9 was the single worst interview I've ever watched. Here are some reasons why:
1. It was shameless propaganda. Yes, MTV, I get that you should tell your viewers that being a teen mom is not ideal. I get that you should talk about prevention. But really, Dr. Drew? Every other minute awkwardly inserting a fact or statistic you "just read" ... reminding viewers several times that they can visit the MTV website to find out about safe sex ... blahblahblah.
In his efforts to discourage viewers from deciding to have babies, Dr. Drew sacrificed the people he was interviewing -- the girls from the show. At one point he had all four of them up there with their babies (all of them around one year old). Of course, the kids were squirming and touching things. For a few minutes Dr. Drew awkwardly faked being interested in the kids, who he gushed "are amazing." Then he turned to the camera and actually said:
"For all the potential teen moms in our audience... you can see how difficult it is for us to even carry on a three minute conversation. If you are deluding yourself into thinking that you can have a baby, keep going to school, get your GED or have a career ... It's impossible."
Didn't it occur to him that the girls he was interviewing were all trying to do those things? Yes, babies are difficult and teenage viewers need to understand that. But it is not impossible to get your life together after you have an unexpected pregnancy. It's harder, and life will change, but it's not down the drain!
2. Dr. Drew's questions sucked. Did he even prepare for this? He asked vague questions. He asked questions that could be answered with one word. He tried to milk any sentimentality or stir up any drama that he could, and for the most part failed miserably. He constantly stated the obvious. He would have awkward pauses after watching clips from the season: "So, what do you think of that? Any thoughts?" No guidance. Awwwkward. Zero substance.The questions from the audience were much better -- questions like, "What is the greatest sacrifice you have made to be a mother?"
3. Dr. Drew is arrogant and condescending. When the girls were talking amongst themselves and asking questions (one of the best parts) he would interrupt with tagalong comments like, "That's right." As if saying, "Remember! I'm still here! The one trying to be a doctor and claiming to be an expert!" As if because they're teen moms he can put the stamp of approval on comments he deems "right." Rubbed me the wrong way ...
4. Dr. Drew gave horrible relationship advice. First of all, the point of the interview is not for us to watch Dr. Drew solve everything and benefit us all with his nuggets of wisdom. Secondly, the advice itself was bad (besides obvious things like: domestic violence is not good). He totally let Ryan off the hook! This made me so mad. I found it so offensive that he would put the blame on Maci and say things like, "It's different to be a father. It's easier for men to leave their children." As a woman this made me mad, but as a man I'd be mad, too. Men don't love their children? Ryan can be lazy, not care about his kid's first birthday, ignore his son and girlfriend, leave his family to go out drinking and dancing ... because he's a man? Even other fathers on the show prove this theory wrong; Gary and Tyler show way more interest in their children than Ryan does. He then urged the couple to patch things together "for Bentley's sake" -- ouch! Maci has been the only one trying to compromise and then he makes a shot at something she's been so sensitive to the entire season -- trying to make it work for Bentley. So right after Ryan says he doesn't care, he's not sorry for anything, and if Maci wasn't Bentley's mother he'd never even look at her again -- relationship guru Dr. Drew turns to Maci and basically says: "Try harder."
(Oh man ... I'm an official Teen Mom fan ... I can't help it!)
5. Endless recaps of the season. We... know.... We're not watching this for you, Dr. Drew. Give me my moms!
6. Endless comments about "how much we need to cover", "so many things to cover" and "we'll get back to that later." Waste. of. time.
I'm glad I got that off my chest. I admit I wasted the past hour of my life watching that finale, and I also admit that I am going to waste several more hours on the next season of Teen Mom :)
... I'm already through the first season.
Spare me your lectures about how it's a bad show! I enjoy turning my brain off when I get home from student teaching, especially over March Break, and Teen Mom does that for me. Quite well, actually.
The first season ends with a "check-in" interview with Dr. Drew. I've never seen this Dr. Drew before, but apparently he's on a million other reality TV shows. I don't know this Dr. Drew, but I already can't stand him.
Teen Mom Season 1 Episode 9 was the single worst interview I've ever watched. Here are some reasons why:
1. It was shameless propaganda. Yes, MTV, I get that you should tell your viewers that being a teen mom is not ideal. I get that you should talk about prevention. But really, Dr. Drew? Every other minute awkwardly inserting a fact or statistic you "just read" ... reminding viewers several times that they can visit the MTV website to find out about safe sex ... blahblahblah.
In his efforts to discourage viewers from deciding to have babies, Dr. Drew sacrificed the people he was interviewing -- the girls from the show. At one point he had all four of them up there with their babies (all of them around one year old). Of course, the kids were squirming and touching things. For a few minutes Dr. Drew awkwardly faked being interested in the kids, who he gushed "are amazing." Then he turned to the camera and actually said:
"For all the potential teen moms in our audience... you can see how difficult it is for us to even carry on a three minute conversation. If you are deluding yourself into thinking that you can have a baby, keep going to school, get your GED or have a career ... It's impossible."
Didn't it occur to him that the girls he was interviewing were all trying to do those things? Yes, babies are difficult and teenage viewers need to understand that. But it is not impossible to get your life together after you have an unexpected pregnancy. It's harder, and life will change, but it's not down the drain!
2. Dr. Drew's questions sucked. Did he even prepare for this? He asked vague questions. He asked questions that could be answered with one word. He tried to milk any sentimentality or stir up any drama that he could, and for the most part failed miserably. He constantly stated the obvious. He would have awkward pauses after watching clips from the season: "So, what do you think of that? Any thoughts?" No guidance. Awwwkward. Zero substance.The questions from the audience were much better -- questions like, "What is the greatest sacrifice you have made to be a mother?"
3. Dr. Drew is arrogant and condescending. When the girls were talking amongst themselves and asking questions (one of the best parts) he would interrupt with tagalong comments like, "That's right." As if saying, "Remember! I'm still here! The one trying to be a doctor and claiming to be an expert!" As if because they're teen moms he can put the stamp of approval on comments he deems "right." Rubbed me the wrong way ...
4. Dr. Drew gave horrible relationship advice. First of all, the point of the interview is not for us to watch Dr. Drew solve everything and benefit us all with his nuggets of wisdom. Secondly, the advice itself was bad (besides obvious things like: domestic violence is not good). He totally let Ryan off the hook! This made me so mad. I found it so offensive that he would put the blame on Maci and say things like, "It's different to be a father. It's easier for men to leave their children." As a woman this made me mad, but as a man I'd be mad, too. Men don't love their children? Ryan can be lazy, not care about his kid's first birthday, ignore his son and girlfriend, leave his family to go out drinking and dancing ... because he's a man? Even other fathers on the show prove this theory wrong; Gary and Tyler show way more interest in their children than Ryan does. He then urged the couple to patch things together "for Bentley's sake" -- ouch! Maci has been the only one trying to compromise and then he makes a shot at something she's been so sensitive to the entire season -- trying to make it work for Bentley. So right after Ryan says he doesn't care, he's not sorry for anything, and if Maci wasn't Bentley's mother he'd never even look at her again -- relationship guru Dr. Drew turns to Maci and basically says: "Try harder."
(Oh man ... I'm an official Teen Mom fan ... I can't help it!)
5. Endless recaps of the season. We... know.... We're not watching this for you, Dr. Drew. Give me my moms!
6. Endless comments about "how much we need to cover", "so many things to cover" and "we'll get back to that later." Waste. of. time.
I'm glad I got that off my chest. I admit I wasted the past hour of my life watching that finale, and I also admit that I am going to waste several more hours on the next season of Teen Mom :)
Monday, 11 March 2013
Thursday, 7 March 2013
the power of one-on-one
I have to confess, I'm starting to enjoy one-on-one meetings with students. It is a completely different dynamic and you as the teacher are firmly in the driver's seat. I'm starting to practice strategies with troublesome students. I'll see them in the halls in the morning and say brightly, "You and I need to chat at some point today." This leaves them writhing, wondering, for the hours in between. I pick the time. I pick the topic.
I'm like a predator, separating them from the pack so I can take them down.
Case 1: Student is pushing the boundaries of respect in class. He seems to think I'm his peer rather than his friend. He repeatedly asks me if I have a Twitter account. I respond that I have one that I use for teaching purposes and only started a few months ago. He asks me what my username is, he asks me to follow him on Twitter, etc.
I check Twitter one evening, to see that for the first time in my life I've been tweeted at. And the tweet is from a grade 12 boy, saying "I found you" and "Ms. will you go to prom with me?"
The next day I ask him to stay after class. We sit facing each other. I stuff down my discomfort, put on my professional voice, and lay it out calmly and firmly.
"I checked my Twitter account last night. Your comments were inappropriate and I felt very uncomfortable."
He starts to redden. "Geez, Ms., it was just a joke!"
"I know it was a joke. But it's still inappropriate and it's in writing. If you ever write anything like that again we'll have to have a meeting with school administration."
He can't wait to escape.
Wait, you're the one who's uncomfortable here?
The next day he came to class looking a little awkward. I greeted him with a smile and treated him as I normally would. He's been quiet every since and we haven't had any problems.
Case 2: Student is growing more and more defiant in class. He's using his cell phone in full view and when I approach him about it he looks up and says indignantly, "I'm texting my mom!" On a day that an assignment is due he skips class and goes to the library instead, unbeknownst to me. He walks into class ten minutes before the bell and hands me the assignment.
"Where have you been?"
"In the library."
"Excuse me?"
"I came to class and then left to go to the library to finish it. I'm leaving now."
Casually, not angry, as if it's the most natural thing in the world for him to be the exception to the rules. I don't know how I should have reacted in the moment, but I knew I had to put a stop to it. The next day I asked him to come see me at some point (to induce the writhing). When he came to see me I told him that I was unhappy with the way he was behaving in my class. I gave specific examples from my perspective.
"Oh, I didn't mean it that way," he said.
"Well, that's the way it came across to me. And more importantly, to the rest of the class. You're taking the legs out from under me. I really enjoyed having you in class last semester, and I really didn't expect you to try to take advantage of the fact that I'm a student teacher.
This behaviour counts as defiance. I'm taking note of it, and if it continues we'll have to set up a meeting with admin and your parents. But I don't think it needs to get to that point ... I think you can nip this in the bud."
And the grandstander is quiet, apologizing, embarrassed. And an angel in class from that point on.
Case 3: Today I arrived at the class that my cooperating teacher and I usually teach together. In this unit she is doing most of the instruction in front of the class while I help facilitate group work. When I walked in the door she came up to me and said, "I need to cover the class next door. They went on a field trip and the few who didn't go are there. The teacher forgot to ask someone to cover! They're just going to be watching a movie -- do you think you could do it?"
Of course I agreed. I went into the class to find the remnant of the class waiting for me: seven grade 12 students.
As I went around taking their names, one girl gave me attitude right away. She was very abrasive and at one point left the class to answer her phone. As she stood outside, all of us could hear her calling somebody a "f***ing idiot."
Even though a part of me thought, "Who cares? I'll never see this girl again" another part of me had to say something. A few minutes before the bell rang I approached her, sensing she'd be the type to leave right away.
"Can you stay behind after class? I'd like to talk with you."
"Why?" she practically spit the word out.
"You'll find out after class."
She glared at me. "No, I'm not staying. I've got to go. I'm leaving."
"Are you really going to be defiant about this? Because we can bring in admin. It'll take two minutes."
She went quiet. "Fine."
After class I stayed seated at the teacher's desk and had her take a seat across from me.
"Let me tell you about my day," I began. "I'm a student teacher. I'm working with Ms. J, and she was asked to cover this class. I'm in here doing a favor for another teacher. The moment you opened your mouth, you were very abrasive and aggressive. It took me aback. I don't even know you, so what's your problem?"
The one-on-one dynamic. She was starting to wilt. "I'm having a really bad day."
"I can see that."
"Is my makeup all messed up?"
"No, but it's pretty obvious. I get that you have bad days. You don't have to be smiley and pleasant. But you do not have the right to be rude. Let me give you a piece of advice: you're not going to get very far in life if you take your bad day out on other people. You don't know me, do you? You have no reason to be mad at me, do you? And you just made my day a bad day."
I didn't get an apology out of this one, but she shut up.
"Do you get where I'm coming from?"
"Yeah, yeah I do."
I'm proud of myself for acting confident even when I don't feel like it. I'm practicing being a professional. The more I fake not being scared and unsure, the more I really am brave and confident. Just by the fact that I'm a new teacher, I know I probably miss some things. But I've learned that I have a temper; when it comes to teaching, my temper doesn't flare up but instead it gives me a bit of iron.
On the note of becoming more professional, I was also proud of myself for being able to explain what female circumcision is to my grade 12 English class without even blushing.
My next hurdle: learning how to be confident and professional dealing with parents.
spaghetti squash round one
I don't remember ever eating spaghetti squash, and I have certainly never cooked it. My cooperating teacher is a bodybuilder and a self-proclaimed nutrition nut. She's been an inspiration for me (I've actually been exercising three times a week since New Year's!) and she suggested spaghetti squash as an alternative to pasta. I love squash, and I love spaghetti, so I thought this might work out well.
I prepared the squash by slicing it in half (they're tough to cut into -- be careful!) lengthwise. I scooped out the seeds and loose strands and put both halves on a cookie sheet, skin-side down. I brushed about 1 and a half tablespoons of olive oil on each side and sprinkled with salt and pepper. I covered both halves with tin foil and put them in the oven at 375 (or was it 400?) degrees.
When I checked on the squash about 25 minutes in, I was still at a loss as to how exactly this solid squash would turn into noodle-like strands. But when I took the squash out of the oven after about 50 minutes of baking time, I was amazed! I started pushing my fork into the flesh, peeling it away from the skin and sure enough it began to separate like spaghetti noodles!
I took the "alternative to spaghetti" quite literally, so I only added a bit of brie cheese that we had in the fridge, the last sprinkling of parmesan, and a few tablespoons of pasta sauce. I was a little disappointed by how it became a mushy mass, and Isaac didn't appreciate the texture at all. I did enjoy how the squash gave me that full feeling you get from pasta (without being pasta!). I need to approach spaghetti squash on its own terms next time instead of just seasoning it as if it was spaghetti. Some teachers at the high school suggested feta and herbs ...
Even though spagetti squash was a no-go for Isaac, I liked it and will definitely try it again.
Monday, 4 March 2013
luke 4 and cheap grace
Our church is making its way through a series on Luke. The past few sermons have been about temptation. The first sermon was about when temptation strikes: when we are tired, when we are isolated, and often after a big win.
Last Sunday our pastor continued to preach about the temptation of Christ.
Some quotes and points that I jotted down:
Many times we are tempted to fulfill a God-given, natural desire in an ungodly way. Jesus was hungry -- that wasn't the problem. The question was how will you fulfill your desires; who will you look to for guidance and to supply your needs? This applies to so many natural drives that we have: acceptance, significance, intimacy, sex, security, love, etc.
"You could argue that all of life is about choosing who and what you will worship."
Jesus knew that waiting on God's timing would bring about the richest reward, even when the devil offered him shortcuts.
"We worship pleasure to get joy and all we end up with is the shabby substitute of distraction. We worship money to get peace and all we get is more expensive stress."
"All along the devil trying to build a sense of entitlement in Jesus: 'If you're really the Son of God...'"
"The last temptation was not to fall but to jump. In some way Jesus would be treating God's grace as a right, not as a gift. 'God has to' really boils down to 'I can control God.' And that is dangerous thinking."
"God is not a machine where we can pull the lever and receive grace. He is a loving father who graciously forgives."
"A sense of entitlement to God's grace is a sin in and of itself. Nothing will stunt your spiritual growth like feeling entitled to God's grace."
"When you face temptation, dig down to see the bigger question that is being asked. Sometimes a specific situation seems unclear or the lines seem blurred ... If you ask, 'What desire am I fulfilling? Is the desire godly, and is the way to fulfill it in submission to God' or 'Who or what am I worshipping?' things seem to clear up pretty quick."
Last Sunday our pastor continued to preach about the temptation of Christ.
Some quotes and points that I jotted down:
Many times we are tempted to fulfill a God-given, natural desire in an ungodly way. Jesus was hungry -- that wasn't the problem. The question was how will you fulfill your desires; who will you look to for guidance and to supply your needs? This applies to so many natural drives that we have: acceptance, significance, intimacy, sex, security, love, etc.
"You could argue that all of life is about choosing who and what you will worship."
Jesus knew that waiting on God's timing would bring about the richest reward, even when the devil offered him shortcuts.
"We worship pleasure to get joy and all we end up with is the shabby substitute of distraction. We worship money to get peace and all we get is more expensive stress."
"All along the devil trying to build a sense of entitlement in Jesus: 'If you're really the Son of God...'"
"The last temptation was not to fall but to jump. In some way Jesus would be treating God's grace as a right, not as a gift. 'God has to' really boils down to 'I can control God.' And that is dangerous thinking."
"God is not a machine where we can pull the lever and receive grace. He is a loving father who graciously forgives."
"A sense of entitlement to God's grace is a sin in and of itself. Nothing will stunt your spiritual growth like feeling entitled to God's grace."
"When you face temptation, dig down to see the bigger question that is being asked. Sometimes a specific situation seems unclear or the lines seem blurred ... If you ask, 'What desire am I fulfilling? Is the desire godly, and is the way to fulfill it in submission to God' or 'Who or what am I worshipping?' things seem to clear up pretty quick."
1925 vs. 2013: are we stupider?
A friend of mine sent me this link ...
http://www.scribd.com/doc/127806081/High-School-entry-quiz
Pretty interesting to take a look at this Ontario high school entrance exam ... some of the questions are tough! I like the mathematical word problems that involve selling cattle, farmers supplying milk, and buying a house for $4000. I also enjoy one of the options for a composition: "A frolic in grandfather's hay-mow."
A few weeks ago I had my grade 11 English class read the article, "Are We Raising a Generation of Nincompoops?" by Beth J. Harpaz. The class is pretty feisty so I knew that it would trigger a good discussion. Many of them argued skills and knowledge that used to be valued is no longer useful. Why should they commit to memory the historical facts that students in 1925 had to, when they can access Google from their cell phones? And, they added, while teachers call them nincompoops for relying on spellcheck ... who does the teacher look to when the projector begins to flicker or their computer has a problem? Even as a young teacher, I know where I look: to the students in front of me.
Interestingly enough, while this class defended their own age group they complained that "the next generation" was made up of nincompoops.
"What do you mean, the next generation?" I asked the sixteen-year-olds in front of me.
"You know, kids like five years younger than us. They can't do anything. When we were young we built treeforts and played ... they just sit on their iPads and computers."
The world is changing quickly. Has the older generation always labelled the younger as nincompoops, or has the divide widened to the point that it is unique to our historical context?
http://www.scribd.com/doc/127806081/High-School-entry-quiz
Pretty interesting to take a look at this Ontario high school entrance exam ... some of the questions are tough! I like the mathematical word problems that involve selling cattle, farmers supplying milk, and buying a house for $4000. I also enjoy one of the options for a composition: "A frolic in grandfather's hay-mow."
A few weeks ago I had my grade 11 English class read the article, "Are We Raising a Generation of Nincompoops?" by Beth J. Harpaz. The class is pretty feisty so I knew that it would trigger a good discussion. Many of them argued skills and knowledge that used to be valued is no longer useful. Why should they commit to memory the historical facts that students in 1925 had to, when they can access Google from their cell phones? And, they added, while teachers call them nincompoops for relying on spellcheck ... who does the teacher look to when the projector begins to flicker or their computer has a problem? Even as a young teacher, I know where I look: to the students in front of me.
Interestingly enough, while this class defended their own age group they complained that "the next generation" was made up of nincompoops.
"What do you mean, the next generation?" I asked the sixteen-year-olds in front of me.
"You know, kids like five years younger than us. They can't do anything. When we were young we built treeforts and played ... they just sit on their iPads and computers."
The world is changing quickly. Has the older generation always labelled the younger as nincompoops, or has the divide widened to the point that it is unique to our historical context?
Saturday, 2 March 2013
benefits of teaching delinquents
Two days ago I locked my keys in my car. I got to school early -- I had things to set up, papers to photocopy, tea to drink. I turned off the car, put the keys in my bag. Slid out of the car, pushing down the lock as I did, stepped out to zip up my jacket and -- the door just closed behind me. Desperate clutching at the handle, shaking, pulling. Locked. Infuriatingly loose. Stubbornly stuck.
I got a wire hanger from the staff room, convinced I could get it open quickly. Fumbling. Balancing. Cursing. The worst part? My thermos of tea was stuck inside.
I had to give up and go back inside to get my things ready and teach my first class. Finally the first seventy-five minute period was over and I had a prep.
I went out armed with two wire hangers. Two of the boys in my grade 12 English class had a spare period and spotted me in the parking lot on their way to get pizza. I was happy that they stayed with me and tried to help me get the car open. They stood on the other side of my little Ford Escort as I wiggled the wire hanger around.
"Oh, Miss, you're so close!"
"Just a little bit this way, Miss, yup... nope, now it's stuck, Miss..."
Finally one of them brightened.
"I know who can help us!"
He ran inside the building and came back with a notorious pothead. Quietly and respectfully, he took the hanger from me, curled the end of it into a tighter hook, expertly manoeuvred it. The car was open in three minutes.
"Do I want to know -- how do you know how to do that so fast?" I asked him.
He smiled. "I ... lock my keys in my car a lot, Miss..."
I reached into the car to get bag, to retrieve my cold tea. I turned around to thank him and he was gone, his skinny figure running back into the school.
"He has to go back to class," one of the other boys said.
"He was in class?" Whoops.
He disappeared through the doors. Like Batman. I don't care what others think of him -- that day he was my hero.
I got a wire hanger from the staff room, convinced I could get it open quickly. Fumbling. Balancing. Cursing. The worst part? My thermos of tea was stuck inside.
I had to give up and go back inside to get my things ready and teach my first class. Finally the first seventy-five minute period was over and I had a prep.
I went out armed with two wire hangers. Two of the boys in my grade 12 English class had a spare period and spotted me in the parking lot on their way to get pizza. I was happy that they stayed with me and tried to help me get the car open. They stood on the other side of my little Ford Escort as I wiggled the wire hanger around.
"Oh, Miss, you're so close!"
"Just a little bit this way, Miss, yup... nope, now it's stuck, Miss..."
Finally one of them brightened.
"I know who can help us!"
He ran inside the building and came back with a notorious pothead. Quietly and respectfully, he took the hanger from me, curled the end of it into a tighter hook, expertly manoeuvred it. The car was open in three minutes.
"Do I want to know -- how do you know how to do that so fast?" I asked him.
He smiled. "I ... lock my keys in my car a lot, Miss..."
I reached into the car to get bag, to retrieve my cold tea. I turned around to thank him and he was gone, his skinny figure running back into the school.
"He has to go back to class," one of the other boys said.
"He was in class?" Whoops.
He disappeared through the doors. Like Batman. I don't care what others think of him -- that day he was my hero.
am i a bad person?
This weekend Isaac is away doing his military training. Although he enjoys the military, we are both getting tired of being apart and happy that the course is winding down. His schedule has been a little demanding for him, but the extra money has kept us buoyant through the long school year.
Today I was getting ready to go to work for 3 o'clock. I hadn't eaten lunch yet and was tempted to just order something at the restaurant when I got there. No, I decided. Even with the discount, it doesn't make sense to spend money on dinner when we have so many groceries in the apartment. I threw together a peanut butter and jam sandwich and tossed it in my purse.
As I hurried down the sidewalk to make it to work on time, a man who appeared to be in his late twenties was walking briskly in the opposite direction, toward me. He stood tall and straight, his blue winter jacket unzipped and blowing behind him. He must have been six feet tall.
As we approached each other, he looked at me and said, "Got any change to spare?"
I couldn't help it. I laughed and blurted out loudly:
"Uh...no. I'm on my way to minimum wage job!"
We had this short exchange as we passed each other, and we each just kept walking. He didn't even miss a beat. Just walking on his way and, hey, here comes a girl, why not hit her up for change? She says no? Shrug, keep walking.
This bugs me. I love Halifax, but I am really sick of being asked for spare change. I've been asked while making deliveries for the engraving shop (my other minimum wage job!), walking by a middle-aged couple sitting on a bench sucking on cigarettes and asking me for money. I'm approached by men who are my father's age asking me for money. Have you no shame? You approach a woman in her early twenties, probably a student, wanting to bum off her? You should be on the giving end here, not the taking end! I can't afford to smoke -- why can you? You are healthy enough to walk the streets, mentally stable enough to reason strangers into giving you money (stories of needing change for the bus -- awkward when you see the same guy doing it over and over again!), and able to communicate clearly. Go deliver newspapers!
Gahhh
A guy in our small group last year works in addictions services in the city. He shakes his head at my rants and says I don't understand urban poverty, addictions, and mental health issues. He says I need to work on my compassion. Maybe so. I tried to work on my compassion; I started carrying a clementine in my purse. I offered it to a man on the street who asked me for money -- "No thanks." What?? Do you have canker sores or something?
There are two homeless people I like in this city: one man with a great big white beard and watery blue eyes and another man who holds out a gnarled Tim Horton's cup outside the mall where our church meets.
The Tim Horton's guy always smiles and wishes us a good day, even though I never give him money. He's pleasant; he adds something to the city. The man with the beard is obviously mentally unstable. I have given him food before. This is a ridiculous story in itself. He walked by me asking for money and I said no. I remembered that I was trying to work on my compassion so I turned around and asked why he wanted money. He said for food. I was on my way home from work and still had some food in my lunch bag. I unzipped it and gave him my granola bar. Both of our eyes fell on the soft cinnamon bun in my lunch bag. I looked at the bun, picked it up, looked at him and said, "But you can't have my cinnamon bun." Needless to say, as I walked away I was shaking my head -- why did I do that??? But he received my granola bar gladly, with a huge grin and even an awkward side-hug.
Random ramblings ...
Today I was getting ready to go to work for 3 o'clock. I hadn't eaten lunch yet and was tempted to just order something at the restaurant when I got there. No, I decided. Even with the discount, it doesn't make sense to spend money on dinner when we have so many groceries in the apartment. I threw together a peanut butter and jam sandwich and tossed it in my purse.
As I hurried down the sidewalk to make it to work on time, a man who appeared to be in his late twenties was walking briskly in the opposite direction, toward me. He stood tall and straight, his blue winter jacket unzipped and blowing behind him. He must have been six feet tall.
As we approached each other, he looked at me and said, "Got any change to spare?"
I couldn't help it. I laughed and blurted out loudly:
"Uh...no. I'm on my way to minimum wage job!"
We had this short exchange as we passed each other, and we each just kept walking. He didn't even miss a beat. Just walking on his way and, hey, here comes a girl, why not hit her up for change? She says no? Shrug, keep walking.
This bugs me. I love Halifax, but I am really sick of being asked for spare change. I've been asked while making deliveries for the engraving shop (my other minimum wage job!), walking by a middle-aged couple sitting on a bench sucking on cigarettes and asking me for money. I'm approached by men who are my father's age asking me for money. Have you no shame? You approach a woman in her early twenties, probably a student, wanting to bum off her? You should be on the giving end here, not the taking end! I can't afford to smoke -- why can you? You are healthy enough to walk the streets, mentally stable enough to reason strangers into giving you money (stories of needing change for the bus -- awkward when you see the same guy doing it over and over again!), and able to communicate clearly. Go deliver newspapers!
Gahhh
A guy in our small group last year works in addictions services in the city. He shakes his head at my rants and says I don't understand urban poverty, addictions, and mental health issues. He says I need to work on my compassion. Maybe so. I tried to work on my compassion; I started carrying a clementine in my purse. I offered it to a man on the street who asked me for money -- "No thanks." What?? Do you have canker sores or something?
There are two homeless people I like in this city: one man with a great big white beard and watery blue eyes and another man who holds out a gnarled Tim Horton's cup outside the mall where our church meets.
The Tim Horton's guy always smiles and wishes us a good day, even though I never give him money. He's pleasant; he adds something to the city. The man with the beard is obviously mentally unstable. I have given him food before. This is a ridiculous story in itself. He walked by me asking for money and I said no. I remembered that I was trying to work on my compassion so I turned around and asked why he wanted money. He said for food. I was on my way home from work and still had some food in my lunch bag. I unzipped it and gave him my granola bar. Both of our eyes fell on the soft cinnamon bun in my lunch bag. I looked at the bun, picked it up, looked at him and said, "But you can't have my cinnamon bun." Needless to say, as I walked away I was shaking my head -- why did I do that??? But he received my granola bar gladly, with a huge grin and even an awkward side-hug.
Random ramblings ...
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