funny things

As much as I want to tear my hair out some days, I can't help but enjoy my students. I haven't taught long enough to have a "favourite" age, but while the middle school years have rightfully earned their reputation for being a little crazy, there is something special about them, too. My students are half-child, open with their emotions and asking ridiculous questions. They're half-adult, too, awkwardly figuring out who they are and how they fit in, sometimes pretending that they know it all and sometimes admitting that they are in unfamiliar territory.

Along the way, they say some funny things.

Right now the features of middle school seem to magnified as we are doing a series of chapels (we have chapel every Wednesday) where boys and girls are divided and we talk about sex, puberty, relationships, etc. Anonymous questions were filled out on cards, and as teachers we are going from there. Unfortunately we assumed that the grade 6 class had learned "the basics" in grade 5. When I casually mentioned this to the grade 5 teacher at the photocopying machine she turned to me with a confused look on her face.  When we investigated further, we realized that, no, "the basics" are covered in science class later this quarter. Chapels should be interesting as we are starting from scratch!

After the first chapel one the grade 6 boys came into my class and asked: "Miss, were you weird when you were a girl in grade 6?"
Me: "Yeah, I probably was ... How was the boys' chapel?"
Him: [dramatically clutching his chest and sinking to the ground] "Good-bye, childhood!"

The grade 8 students were a little annoyed at having the grade 6 students in the same group as them for discussions. I told them they had a choice: they could be lame and check out and put a damper on it for everybody, or they could step up and be leaders. I have to say, the grade 8 girls really did step up in our discussion time.
But I didn't realize grade 6 also had concerns ...
Grade 6 boy: "Why are we all in one group? They've got us grade six kids in there with gorillas who have to shave twice a day!"

The science teacher was informed that the grade 6 students had not yet learned the basics, so he proceeded to begin the "healthy body" unit. After one of the first classes, where he got into the basic mechanics of reproduction, a boy at the back of the class said: "Hey, Mr. Costley, I think I've seen dogs do that thing you're talking about!"
Mr. Costley: "Yup, maybe..."
Boy: [with a look of sudden realization] "My mom said they were playing tag!"

And one last student quote that has nothing to do with chapel, but is very much about English class:
Me: "Give me an example of a metaphor."
Ugandan student: "You're the beans to my posho!"

You know you teach in Uganda when ...