To be honest, I initially found missionary moms to be a scary group. Last year I was a brand new teacher, fresh out of university, and although my parent/teacher interactions were very positive, it was still a source of insecurity. There was a particular brand of parent known to be feisty: missionary moms. You could often expect direct questions, honest impressions, and a distinct feeling that you weren't completely trusted when one of these ladies sat across the table from you.
But over the past two years, I've grown to admire this group of women. Their husbands are often the ones who inspire a lot of praise -- pilots, doctors, pastors, directors, Bible school professors. (Although, make no mistake, I've met a lot of professional missionary moms, too -- from doctors to reverends.) But behind these men are women who are busy steering the ship of their families, protecting and watching and nurturing.
The reason I found these moms so scary is the same reason that I admire them: they're a feisty bunch. They don't play games. When they meet a young new teacher, why should they trust them? Their kids have probably had new teachers dozens of times, and they are protective over their children's education.
There are several moms who have fought to be able to adopt kids and teenagers, and then constantly fight to bring those kids up to speed academically.
There's a mom who made a commute of one hour every day in horrible Kampala traffic to get her kids to Heritage, because she knew the kids loved the school and that it was good for them to connect with others.
There are moms who learn how to drive here. Period. (Something I still can't imagine doing.)
There are moms who camp with their children for several months in the summer while they travel and fundraise for their mission.
There was a mom who accidentally hit a boda, found her vehicle surrounded by a mob and dozens of boda drivers, who had to lock her doors and pray while driving straight to the police station.
There are moms who send me messages or meet me in person asking for advice, the concern for their child whose friend has moved or who is preparing to return to the States etched on their faces. Like moms of all teenagers, they sometimes can't get information out of their kids but want to know that they are okay.
There are moms who drop their kids off at university and then return to their post on the other side of the world, trying to send care packages or arrange a place for them to stay over Easter.
There are moms who choose to work outside the home, trying to decide on the best child care option in a foreign culture.
There are moms who choose to stay home with young children, which can be isolating and difficult in one's own country, never mind a new place.
There's a mom who posted that her husband, a pilot, will be gone on assignment for one month. She wrote that this is "where they shine" -- she loves to hold down the fort while he is away doing ministry!
For some moms, accepting a particular post means that they need to figure out how to homeschool their children.
There are moms who run cooking classes or job skills training out of their homes.
There are plenty of moms who live abroad with special needs children (biological or adopted). They are constantly smoothing out the path for these kids, making sure that they get what they need.
There are moms who walk to the market and barter for their family's groceries.
There are many moms who fight the corrupt electricity company tooth and nail!
There are moms who kill rats, shrieking with terror, while their husbands are away.
There are moms who pack the birthday candles and banners a year in advance, to make sure that their child will have a special day.
There was a mom who had to comfort her child, watching them have nightmares and anxiety, because of the riots and upheaval they had witnessed during an election.
There are moms here who have a very strange sense of humor. So-called 'funny' anecdotes include -- "Remember that time we were bathing the boys and little worms popped out of their heads that had been buried in their scalps?" Or -- "One time we were in a village in Tanzania. Two [of seven!] kids were sick, and we had to use a bucket because it wasn't safe to go outside. They were puking and having diarrhea in the same bucket!"
Every mom seems to know how to cut hair (is that included in missionary training?).
I've learned that the moms seem to be the ones who know the ins and outs of international medical insurance.
There are moms here who really know how to stretch a shilling to keep their families healthy and happy.
There are moms who sneak a mini Christmas tree into their luggage to give their kids a small taste of home when the holidays arrive.
There are moms here who have to explain what Wal-Mart is to their six-year-old, realizing with a start that their child is separated from their own home culture.
There are moms who have to return to their home country alone, for months at a time, to receive medical treatment for a disease contracted here.
There are moms who give birth here in Uganda and raise babies far away from friends and family.
And the stories I hear from the kids!
"Yes, one time robbers threw poisoned meat over our wall and our dogs died."
"Once I was bit by a snake."
"Here's some photos of when we lived in Chad..." And I see the family standing, surrounded by desert, with their daughters who were so ... little.
When the kids share stories, I have to wonder about how the mother felt who was on the other side of that experience.
I've come to view missionary moms with admiration, a bit of awe, and a touch of questioning their sanity. Sometimes I find them intimidating, as I don't often see a chink in their armor. If I don't hear it from them, I often hear about their humanity and their struggles from their kids.
"When we first moved here, my mom cried all the time."
"After we left the last place we lived, and came to Uganda, my mom felt really lonely."
They are human. They can be lonely or depressed. They battle inner fears, not just external challenges. I can tell by the way some of my students talk that their mother is the strongest presence in their lives, and her ups and downs are the thermometer for the whole family.
Missionary moms are often accustomed to people walking in and out of their lives. This second year of teaching, I've been able to build on the foundation from last year. I've forged new friendships and, once their trust is earned, I've discovered that missionary moms can be the greatest encouragers. They are beautiful and godly, but they aren't passive or merely "nice." They are strong and tenacious, relentless in the pursuit of their call to missions and their responsibility to their families.
So ... hats off to missionary moms!
